Has Being An ICU Doctor Weakened My Faith?

It is a very common theme in art (movies, books, etc) to feature a doctor who thinks he is God.  We doctors, especially those of us who practice in the Intensive Care Unit, make life and death decisions in a matter of seconds. Many times, the decisions we make prevent the patient from dying. And so, I can see how easy it can be to succumb to the thought that one can become God or God-like as a doctor.  

As a physician of deep and profound faith, however, such thinking is anathema. Thinking that I am God is spiritual suicide for me. This begs the question: what has being an ICU physician done to my faith?  

It has only strengthened it.  

Every day, I am witness to the awesome healing power of God. Every day, I am witness to His tremendous Grace of healing the sick. Every day, I am witness to His limitless Mercy of curing critical illness. And, when it is clear that the patient will not survive critical illness, I am also witness to the beauty of God’s soothing comfort for both the patient and his or her family, a comfort most needed in such difficult times.  

It is the privilege and blessing of a lifetime to be able to have a front seat to all this amazing Divine work. I cannot be grateful enough to God for His making me an agent of His healing in this world. I truly cannot thank God enough for this.  

Many people will thank me for “saving their life,” and I will frequently respond by saying, “God saves life. I just fill out the paperwork.” Before every shift, I utter this prayer:  

“Lord my God, O Strong One. I disavow my strength, power, and knowledge and seek safety in Your Strength, Your Power, and Your Knowledge.  

In Your Name, the Healer, do I begin my shift, and in Your Name, the Healer, do I end my shift.  

Lord my God, there is nothing easy except that which You make easy, and You – if You will it – make hardship easy.  

My Lord, expand for me my chest, and make my task easy for me, and cure the impediment in my speech so that they may understand me.” 

This last line is the same prayer Moses uttered after being tasked with freeing the Children of Israel from bondage in Egypt, and when I think about it, it is fitting: each and every day, I strive and do my best to free my patients from the bondage of illness, disease, and suffering.  

Far from weakening my faith or giving me the delusion that I have “God-like” powers of life and death, being a physician in the ICU has deepened my faith and made me appreciate even more the Beauty of Who God really is. From now until the end of my days, I can never thank God enough for this enormous blessing.